IN MEMORIAM - To the Leftist Losers I've DESTROYED This Week
A masterclass on putting bitches in their place.
I wasn’t sure if I should make this a recurring segment on my Substack. If it seems a bit juvenile, well… it is!
But I do so with a purpose.
I am tired. I am absolutely exhausted from watching people capitulate and bow before woke leftists and their phony outrage. They only have the power that they currently do through other people groveling to them.
In 2020, I spent a year traveling the country with the #WalkAway movement, speaking to voters, in an attempt to get them to leave the Democrat party.
I changed a lot of minds. But I think the biggest mistake I made was trying to bring up facts to unreasonable people. I tried speaking logic to profoundly illogical people.
You need to know what minds you can change — and what minds you cannot change.
In the proceeding three years, my patience has worn thin. I no longer care to persuade the people whose minds will never be changed. It’s much more fun to tell them where to go!
Now in most areas of life, I would tell you: DO NOT be like me!
Don’t be like me when it comes to being punctual! Don’t be like me when it comes to being calm, cool, or collected. And DEFINITELY don’t be like me when it comes to your love life!
However, if there is one place where I can maybe be a little bit of an example for others, it is here. Always stand up for yourself. Do not cower, do not shrink, do not give an inch. Do not ever make yourself a doormat to the social justice squad. We ALWAYS stand up to bullies here!
The woke operate based on social pressure. It is my mission to turn that social pressure around on them. If you want to be a woke scold, you will be mocked and ridiculed mercilessly.
Are my clapbacks a little mean sometimes? Absolutely. But yknow what’s really mean? “Cancelling” someone from earning an income. Censoring speech. Covering kid’s faces with a fabric muzzle for two years. Telling children they were born in the wrong body. Those are the things that I think are mean.
I’m finding it’s a real source of joy for me — putting these bitches in their place.
And so, I thought I’d provide you all with a visual aid. This is how to stand up to leftists — and have a good time while doing!
So turn up “I Will Remember You” by Sarah McLaughlin as we memorialize our fallen comrades, who met their end having been DESTROYED with SASS and DICK JOKES!
1. CANCEL KELLY!!!!
Last week, I had the beautiful and badass Kelly Cadigan on my weekly live show MIKEroaggress’d! Watch our episode here.
Kelly has been on the receiving end of a woke onslaught, being tarred and feathered as a “racist” and “white supremacist”.
Her real crime is being a transgender woman who pushes back against the gender cult that seeks to mutilate and indoctrinate children.
They don’t think she’s a racist — they think she’s persuasive.
And so, I indulged them with all the seriousness that they deserve…
I truly find it hilarious that these people would think they’d get anywhere with me when it comes to their delusional demands. Ooooh boy have you got the wrong person…
Also: Am I the only one who’s reached my limit for the word “yikes”…?
2. RAYSIST!!!!
3. LADY MARMALADE
4. A CONFESSION
Sometimes you just have to be the bigger person and apologize…
5. HELLO, GORGEOUS!
This beautiful doll of a woman hates Billboard Chris because he is protecting children from being butchered under the doctrine of gender ideology.
But also… she knows he’s very attracted to her.
I mean, who wouldn’t be?
She/Her is ready for her closeup…
This reboot of my favorite 2000’s emo band kinda sucks…
“She’s beauty and she’s grace. She’s Miss United States….”
6. MISTAKEN IDENTITY
7. THE BLACK LESBIAN…
Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to introduce you to Claire G. Coleman. (She/Her)
Claire is special.
It all began when Ana Kasparian said that she does not want to be called a “birthing person”. She then committed the ultimate and most unforgivable sin. She not only committed an act of wrongthink against the gender cult — SHE DID NOT APOLOGIZE!!!
“Respect to Ana Kasparian” is not something I ever thought I’d say. But we gotta be intellectually consistent, so… HUGE respect to Ana Kasparian!
Naturally, the alphabet cult supports her calling herself by her preferred adjectives… right?
LOL.
And then came Claire…
Because sometimes, we just need a beautiful and brave womxn to educate us all. Especially women. How else will they learn their place?
Unfortunately though…
there’s always a tweet.
Yes, you read that correctly.
Aussie Male Who Identifies as a Black Lesbian Says “Kill All TERFs” is Equivalent to “Kill All Nazis”.
Naturally, bringing up somebody’s own words is “harassment”.
Citation needed…
Citation fucking needed!!!!!!
Remember: It is FAKE NEWS to call this black lesbian a man…
But this best-selling author was merely drafting her next (best/seller).
And ladies and gentlemen…
the pièce de résistance…
Come again…?
Errrrr…
8. THE PICKING
Mx. Claire has a simp. (He/Him).
Very nice of him to promote my first Substack essay:
PLEASE PICK ME! On Leaving the Alphabet Cult and Finding My Self
This has always been a common retort I’d get from the most braindead of leftists. They call me Milo. A few years ago it used to bug me. Now I love that it is yet another visual aid to be wielded of their hypocrisy.
Nevermind the fact that Milo and I have absolutely nothing in common. He’s simply the only gay person they’ve ever heard of who isn’t a leftist. And these people see gays as absolutely nothing but gay. They see black people as nothing but black. If I were a black woman, he would’ve said “Aunt Jemima”.
He’s gay and I’m gay, and that’s enough for them because that is all you will ever be to these people. If you are any sort of minority, they do not see you as a person. You are a demographic to them. One that is to be owned.
In such cases, I am more than happy to mirror their own bigotry right back at them.
Ohhhhh! So now he understands that it is in fact bigoted to call an individual by the name of a stereotypical representative of their identity group? If it’s racist, that would make him homophobic, would it not…?
Weird. It’s almost like their words mean nothing and their “values” only apply to themselves… hmm!
As if we hadn’t all been through enough, Habibi decided to deface my Twitter with links to his shitty book that’s apparently about the wrong kind of gays.
9. FURRIES FUCKING HATE ME!
I don’t know what it is. But I seem to be allergic to furries!
And we’ve got a real winner here…
Again, I will say it was very thoughtful of They/Them to promote my Substack.
Anyway, there’s always a tweet…
This might be a good time to mention…
I, Michael W. Harlow, am calling for a complete and total shutdown of furries, until we can figure out what the hell is going on!
10. THE TRUTH
Well, duh.
Thank you guys so much for reading my rantings! Hope it brought you some lols.
If you like my work, consider becoming a paid subscriber for $5 a month, or $50 a year. It’s my goal to go full-time this year with creating content and writing!
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If you need some new toilet reading material, check out my previous Substack essays:
HALF-OFF CLEARANCE
This post had me howling Mikey! Keep up the great work....XXX I am Cinema Guy a former Twitter user and current fan...